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[koh-tuh-ree] noun ~ a small exclusive group of friends or people with common interests; clique

The Simpsons - Homer At The Bat

Silly boys rounders. It’s the kind of game guys like me and Stephen enjoy…

Posted on June 11, 2017
Stephen: Yeah, same here. I've gotta be up early in the morning, playing baseball.

Del: Oh, baseball! Yeah! No... I love it. I always watch it on Channel Four.

Rodney: You don't like baseball! You've always called it silly boys rounders!

Del: Yeah, that was before that I knew it was 'in'! Nowadays it's the sort of game that guys like uh, me and Stephen enjoy.

Stephen: How d'you mean? Guys like me and Stephen?

Silly Boys Rounders

December 25th 1989. Another traditional Christmas special of Only Fools and Horses has just aired on BBC1. I was literally a couple of days from my 10th birthday and yet now, and with fast approaching nearly 30 years having passed since that day, I still recall that gag being recited on the television screen as I struggled to muster a belly laugh amongst the vast quantities of turkey, vegetables and chocolate scoffed throughout the day. I recall it so vividly because a) the episode in question The Jolly Boys Outing is a timeless classic. Endlessly revered and in many circles touted as one of the greatest episodes of televised comedy ever. Oh and b) I chuckled hard because I knew at the time that American sports such as gridiron and baseball, and to a different extent the short lived airing of kabaddi were popular on British television network Channel 4. Continue Reading

Golden Wonder Pot TV

Cyberdelia, or, Quantum Holography, or, Ding a dang ding your ding dang.

Posted on April 8, 2017
tip: please visit the referenced links within this post. they’re super interesting.

“What goes better with an intense snack than an intense film? Eat this. Watch this.” uttered the late Phil Hartman to an unsuspecting UK television audience in 1993. What followed was a 40 second visual assault on the senses as Hartman instructs the ‘Golden Wonder Pot TV’ network to “hit the max”.

From within the confines of a neon, multi-coloured television studio, the fictional broadcaster attacks the unsuspecting viewers eyes with a barrage of aggressive, rapid cuts of neon computer graphics, glitches, text, 3D renders and film footage. So expeditious, and bellicose was the strobe effect from the cutting speed that reports of viewers suffering seizures flooded the Advertising Standards Agency. Golden Wonder, the company behind the Pot Noodle snack being advertised, responded by producing a second version of the same advert, only this time with the cut speed of the computer graphics slowed down in the hopes this would smooth over the furore generated at the time. The re-edit proved to be unsatisfactory to the Advertising Standards Agency and sadly the advert was canned and banned.

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Wildchild - Bad Boy (Ultra Records)

Preserving (and remastering) the original Bad Boy

Posted on April 1, 2017

Should you be super old, like me, you may well remember living through those halcyon days that were the late 1980’s and early to mid 1990’s. Days of carefree and misspent youth. Days spent gaming, nights spent raving. Or in my case, nights spent playing records that I’d chosen to play, loudly, to fee-paying customers that wished to shuffle and gyrate in front of me. Awkwardly and inhibited at first, and somewhat more wackily as the evening passed and they became more inebriated.

Yes, I was a DJ, ‘spinning platters’ on the ‘wheels of steel’ of a Friday, Saturday and occasionally a Sunday night circa 1996. This continued throughout the late 1990’s and in to the early part of the 2000’s. I’d play at nightclubs both regional and national and also co-hosted a weekend show on a city pirate radio station (back when pirate radio truly was about taking over real radio waves and not simply hosting a Shoutcast server). I wrote a few tracks, simple stuff as I haven’t a note in my head, which met with reasonable acclaim and distributed on a microscopic scale. At one point, on a train home from London, and having picked up a music magazine to read on the journey, I discovered that on page 69, there I was on the new release reviews, rubbing shoulders between the Beastie Boys and David Morales. I even scored 4 out 5 stars in their review of my work!

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Limited Edition Video Games

You, me and our love affair with limited edition tat.

Posted on March 18, 2017

Rotund chubmeister Martin Roberts

“Did you have a good time?” burbles the baritone host of BBC’s Bargain Hunt, Tim Wonnacott, “Yeah!” scream the contestants, “Well done. Enjoy your £5 profit then.”

“Alice has dreamed of owning a set of copper saucepans her entire life. Hopefully by clearing out her gaf that’s full of useless tat to gullible profiteers, who we hope are just stupid enough to make a few bids, we can fulfill Alice’s dream” wails a delightfully shrill, shit-eating Alistair Appleton on daytime TV treat Cash In The Attic.

“Neil and Jason have done great with this condemned 1 bedroom studio in Lewisham. Bought for just £15,000 at auction, we’re delighted with our guidance they’ve made a whopping £150,000 profit!” squeals rotund chubmeister Martin Roberts on lunchtime favourite Homes Under The Hammer.

Profitatting

I’m hoping you are sensing a recurring theme here. We’re in the age of profitatting (a word I just made up). An age of buying up any old video game shit and flogging it off to the highest bidder. A practice that’s as old as time itself within many trade circles, but something relatively new to the world of video games. Let me have a go at explaining what, precisely, I mean by this.

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Etsy Fishing Panic Densetsu

Buy my stuff on Etsy!

If you would like to purchase items from my personal collection, I am slowly but surely adding them to my very own shop! It is hosted on Etsy and will have more items added in the coming days and weeks. I hope you find something to plug that hole in your collection!

Click the link below to be whisked over to my little shop!

Fishing Panic Densetsu: https://www.etsy.com/ie/shop/FishingPanicDensetsu

WFL Football 1974

4th & Inches: Where are they now?

“My one aspiration: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward…I press on toward the goal to win.” – Philippians 3:13

When you think of good, well known gridiron video games, what immediately comes to mind? Madden? Highly likely. NCAA Football? Probably. Tecmo Bowl? Absolutely. How about 4th & Inches? Probably not. With the current American football season now in full swing and 4th & Inches a mere handful of weeks away from celebrating it’s 30th birthday, I felt it an appropriate time to revist one of the true great elders of gridiron video games.

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Ten No Koe Bank Manga

天の声バンク (Ten No Koe Bank) Manga Instructions

Posted on July 7, 2016

天の声バンク (Ten no Koe Bank) is not a video game. It is not a manga. It is not a hybrid of the two. It is not a Big Mac and chips. 天の声バンク (Ten no Koe Bank) is an accessory that was released for the NEC PC Engine video game console in 1991. The PC Engine console was not afforded a great deal of on-board memory, and managing save games was a problem that quickly required addressing.

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Playstation Vue Screenshot

A Room With A Vue: The PlayStation Disaster Movie

Posted on July 5, 2016

If I asked you what’s the first thing that comes to mind about the history of television, you’d most probably bring up names like John Logie Baird, or Marconi. Or perhaps give a detailed description of a post-war family huddled around a box the size of a modern-day London apartment watching Ajax commercials and Blue Peter. You may be of a younger age group and perhaps recall a time when you ‘had to get up to switch the channels’, or ‘the remote control was actually connected by a cord’, or that a television cost a decades wages.

What may not come to the forefront of your mind is the fact that Japan joined the world of broadcasting in 1950, making it one of the first countries in the world with a full, yet experimental, television service. In 1979 Japan was at the forefront again, with NHK launching the world’s first consumer HDTV television service. By 1981, Sony was developing HD video cameras, and by April 1984 had consumer products available in shops nationwide.

Sony. Inventors of Betamax. The Walkman. MiniDisc. Hi-MD. SDDS. 3.5″ Floppy Disks. Blu Ray. This shortlist alone makes for quite a staggering portfolio. So how did a company with such an illustrious technological history make such a catastrophic mess of things with their venture in to IPTV (Internet Protocol television)? Let’s find out with a real first-hand look at PlayStation Vue from someone who actually used the service. Me.

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RetroCollect logo

More Retro Collect mumblings!

Posted on June 16, 2016

Better late than never! You may have seen my previous entry, well I have been busy scribbling a few words down for the good folks at Retro Collect once more. This particular piece was published a few weeks ago, but I figured to pop the link here, just in case you would like to read my mutterings!

EXTERNAL LINK: Bye Bye Collection! Does Starting A Family Mark The End Of Your Retro Gaming Life?

EXTERNAL LINK: Video Game Shops And The Death Of The Egg Custard Export Trade

Cruisin’ In My Lefty (レフティ RX)

Posted on June 16, 2016

Released in 1972, long before video games were even a glint in a developers eye, Nintendo were in the business of manufacturing childrens toys. The Lefty was a series of toy RC cars by Nintendo that appeared on the market before rival Tamiya (today a world leader in radio controlled hobby products). With the Lefty, Nintendo aimed to release the world’s first radio controlled car at an affordable price point. To keep costs down the cars featured one servo. A servo with the ability to operate in one motion. A motion that allowed the car to solely turn left. Hence the name, Lefty.

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